at the end

It is official. I am done with my graduate degree course. After a long three years fraught with difficulty I accomplished something I wasn’t always sure I would be able to. I earned my master’s of library and information sciences degree with a graduate certificate in archival administration. Yes, I am aware that some of that should be capitalized but I don’t care to.

I had the idea that I should write an open letter to my self after it was all over as a way to I don’t know maybe come to terms with this chapter of my life coming to a close. I was reading an article that had talked about it and I can’t remember where, but I thought it would be a good way to sort of look back on my time in school.

I have been in school in some form for over 7 years. Holy wow I just counted that out and damn. So long. And that is just the college years. And yeah that does include spring or summer courses too. I think I sort of had myself convinced that I would be in school for the rest of my life. I do have plans to eventually go back for maybe a second degree or just for some additional classes. But as of right now, I am done.

at the start

I remember when I started the process of applying for grad schools. It was obviously the senior year of my undergraduate degree and I had come to the startling realization that I did not want to pursue psychology any longer. I love it. And I loved learning about it. But I did not want to go any further with applying or taking exams or any of it. Props to all those who have, I commend you for doing it all.

But that meant that I was left with no direction to take for my life. My college degree would get me nowhere. And all I had besides that was a crummy retail job. I had to come up with something and on the off chance I looked into the career I had kept in the back of my mind as a pipe dream. It required a master’s degree, but I could apply to it with any bachelor’s degree. So I did.

I applied to a number of schools and I got into my dream school and a second one. I was so excited. I was going to not only get to go to school for something I loved something I wanted to study, but it was actually a possibility.

Now the challenge of deciding which one I would attend.

My dream school… was well… my dream school. It had a specialization that I was absolutely fascinated by, it was on the east coast in a state I had always wanted to visit. But. It was expensive. Not only the tuition but the cost of the area. There was no way I could have afforded it. And my parents had helped so much with my undergrad, they couldn’t help with this too.

But the second school I got into. Well, it was in state, I could attend fully online, I could live at home and I could keep my job and work in all my spare time. All which would save me so much money in the long run. As difficult as it was, I really only had one choice.

I chose the in state school.

during that time

I can’t regret choosing it. Even though I sort of do. Because here’s the thing. I did save a lot of money going this route. But I also had the fortune to meet a wonderful group of people and got my current job because I chose this school. I met one of my best friends at this job. I got to go to a BTS concert and a planned trip to another one because of this job because I met one of my best friends there. Which I wouldn’t have gotten if it wasn’t for this school and one of the courses.

So even though I didn’t like some of my professors, even though I thought the program could have been better laid out for students. I won’t totally say going there was a mistake.

But I didn’t like all my professors. I still think the program needs an overhaul, and definitely needs to bring it into the 21st century completely.

I do wish I would have tried to get more experience in the field. I wish I would have taken advantage of what was offered through the school. I wish I would have tried to move out on more own before now.

There are a lot of things I wish I would have done but haven’t. And I can’t change the past.

at the end

At the end of this, I still can’t really say how I am feeling beyond relief that I don’t have to write another paper or read another research paper. I am sad that I spent all this time and I don’t feel happy. But I am happy that I made it. And I did quite well too if I’m honest. I am nervous about what is next for me. And I’m scared about not being able to do what I went to school for.

But such is life. And this chapter of my life is done.

Congratulations to all those who have graduated this semester during quarantine. I know this has been a difficult time for you all and I hope you all the best