learning to love me- in progress

Hey there!

Not long ago I wrote a little update on how I am doing regarding loving myself. It wasn’t great. I hadn’t made any real progress I felt. But I realized that this is a journey, an adventure if you will. It is going to have its ups and downs. It’s not going to just all be sunshine and daisies. This is something I am still coming to terms with. I sometimes get stuck up on the negative. I can’t seem to let it go that easily. But that’s not what this post is on. Today I want to talk to you about some of the things I have started or am going to be starting to help improve my confidence, self-esteem and just loving myself.

i made a pact.

What actually made me want to write this post is that about a month back, my best friend and I created a sort of pact. I had been having a really bad day, and I fell to my default of severe self-deprecation. She rightfully so became worried about me and that’s when she brought up the idea of the pact.

Basically when either one of us started to have a negative thought about ourselves. We needed to stop and find something positive about it. Like the fact that I had a pair of pants that were too tight, just means that there is more of me to love. She has this mantra she’s been using:

My body is changing and that is okay.

C.S.

And another one was: yes, while I do have fat, I also have muscle! Cause I do the heavy lifting. And muscle is good! We try and catch ourselves in the midst of the bad thought and adjust our thinking so that we are not getting stuck in a negative mindset. It really is just all about getting far away from the negative and staying in the positive.

i created a daily/weekly routine.

Something else I started to work on was a consistent routine to follow. This is something I follow strictly because I had found when I tried to do it that way they just never worked out. But I did create a blocked out type schedule when for certain time frames I would work on something or do something within those few hours. I am hoping that this will also help me with my coming semester. I have a full course load on top of my two jobs and I am starting my practicum too.

For each day of the week, I have blocked out time for course work, for my hobbies (like weaving, blogging and language learning), work, and other things. I even color-coded them because I can. I am thinking of doing a blog post more in-depth on this if I find that it works well for me.

Doing this sort of blocking time out was important to me as I have always struggled with enjoying my time off. I had a week off at one of my jobs and almost went in on those days off twice. It wasn’t until a few of my friends told me to just enjoy my time off that I stopped worrying about working and just chilled. So I have blocked out on most days one or two hours a day where I do something for myself. A hobby or just relaxing. But the point is that I don’t do course work or anything work-related.

I also started walking almost daily and I wanted to start meditation to help reduce my stress and anxiety and maybe help me sleep better. Now I also did block out time for my course work. Those I have usually in 4-hour blocks with breaks in between. And I am planning on not being in my house when I work, either at the library or occasionally Tim Hortons or Starbucks.

So blocking out my time accordingly helps me not only get things done in a productive matter but also help me to possibly not get burn-out. And enjoy myself and my hobbies more.

and obviously, i have music.

This one is actually still in progress but there is a song by Jay Park called “Sexy 4 Eva” and I love listening to it when I’m not having the best of days. I intend to make a playlist of uplifting and empowering songs to listen to when I am feeling down or just not having the best day.

I haven’t made that much progress on this yet so if you have any suggestions let me know!

I still have my bad days, my bad weeks. But I am trying to make a conscious effort to improve my life. By changing my habits, building healthy routines. By trying to adjust my mindset.

Thanks for reading!

~Chelsea

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