It is worth having a dream or not? Is it crucial that you know what you’re passionate about? Or even knowing what you’re gonna do with your life?
What if I have a dream but it’s rather unrealistic? Like living off the grid with my fat cat and working in a bakery or something like that. (Currently working on a short story with that premise lol). What if my dreams are more about abstract concepts, like feeling happy more then two days in a row. Or meeting my favorite boy band. (I know that’s never gonna happen…)
I can dream all day long but when it comes to my life, my future… it starts to feel forced. Less ‘dreamy’ more ‘thinky’. How do I find that balance between what can be and what could be? How do I think and dream about my future without getting pessimistic with reality? Cause I don’t actually know what is going to happen. I just know that the bad, the negative is a possibility. And then I get stuck on that.
I know what could go wrong. But I also know what could go right. I could get that job right out the gate. Which would mean I could leave my soul-sucking retail job behind. It would mean that I managed to do something till the very end. That I finished something. That I accomplished something.
So if I can type that all out. Think that all out. Why can’t I think that way every day? Why do I get stuck on the negative? Well, I know why. I’ve always been a little bit of a pessimist and I doubt that that is going to change any time soon.
I Want to Dream
I want to dream about all the things I can do. Not could. Because there is really nothing stopping me from doing these things, expect myself. I’ve always wanted to learn another language. It’s gonna take me a while but I’ll learn one. I’m trying for Korean. I think at this point I owe it to myself to learn this one.
I’ve always loved writing. I think I’m halfway decent too. So I’ll finish that short story one day. But then it’ll be a battle to try and publish it. But then I could at least say I tried. That is what is important.
That I tried. That I did the thing I’ve wanted to do but never had the guts to do it before. That I did it. For so much of my life, I had been labeled a ‘quiter’. I never finished things. Always gave up. On everything. It was easier to quit than to try and muddle through. And I didn’t ever think it was worth it.
That was Then. This is Now.
Much has changed in my life since then. I’ve finished many things. Accomplished quite a few different things in my life. I got my international baccalaureate degree when I graduated High School. I earned my BS in Psychology from Ferris State University, I got into grad school. I’ve finished almost every college course I started with a B+ or higher. (I dropped one cause shit professor and got a C+ in Accounting… so doesn’t count).
I have started and finished many weaving projects. I have started and finished many blog posts. I know I can finish things.
So I know I can do what I put my mind to. I know I am capable of. But how does that translate to me finding my dream, my passion?
I am still struggling to live without one. With not having a direction in my life. What am I working towards? What am I striving for? I can keep doing what I like. My hobbies. I’m wondering if I could eventually call one of those my passion.
In The End
While I still can’t say 100% that I have a dream or even a passion in life, I know better the things I enjoy. And I am even getting better at enjoying them!
Take this a sign that it’s ok if you don’t have a dream, a passion or an end goal to work towards. Take this as a reminder that you are ok. That you are doing just fine and you are perfect. If there is something that you enjoy doing and you have an itch to do something more with it… take this as a sign to take the plunge and do it!
It’s ok to just live one day at a time. Cause life is forever changing and evolving and anything could happen.
Hey! It means so much to me knowing that you’ve taken the time to read my writing! So thank you! I know how important it is to get out what’s bothering us, so if you ever need to just vent or bitch out something and you don’t feel like you have anyone, you have me! Use my contact form and let it out. I can’t promise I’ll respond immediately but I will respond. Everyone needs someone.